Velvitch /vɛ́lvətʃ/ (female)

This name, created by the team at California’s premier naming house, San Angelay Naming, has been breaking records left and right since its release at the opening of the trading day this morning. It’s easy to see what all these parents are getting so excited about. Velvitch’s sultry brand of charm is captured quite economically by its promotional tag-line: “Like scratching an itch with velvet.” While a vocal minority of critics claim this name’s ample supply of raw sensuality is inappropriate for a child, those critics are likely perverts. Names are an investment in the woman your daughter will become, so ask yourself: “What woman wouldn’t want to be named Velvitch?”

“Velvitch? Well that’s certainly an unusual name.”