Spectrotis /spɛ́ktrótɪ̀s/ (male)

This name adds the functional sterility of a medical device to the hard-knuckled simplicity of its primary root, ‘Otis.’ Like a farm-born peasant working their way up to a degree in medicine, Spectrotis effectively embodies the struggle for wealth and prestige. Naming your little boy Spectrotis won’t guarantee that he grows up to be a doctor, but statistically speaking, it doesn’t hurt. Absent in the global standings, this name is nevertheless working its way up the domestic charts with all the gumption you’d expect of it.

“If I wanted Spectrotis to know I was pregnant, I’d have goddamn told him myself!”