Nelveins /nɛ́lvenz/ (male/female)

This name isn’t for everyone, but it certainly should be. Not only is it beautifully unisex, it also has more style and panache than any sane person could ask for. By not stooping to more instinctual spellings like ‘vanes’ or ‘vaynes,’ this name errs on the side of classy and ensures that no one will hear it without thinking of the human circulatory system. This, perhaps, is the reason some people seem to find the name as hard to stomach as blood itself. But even the most squeamish among us know that blood is essential to human life. This age old theme of humanity’s disgust for the physical body may be responsible for the complex flavour that can be felt so readily when someone hears this name for the first time.

“Nelveins drove all the way from Connecticut for this.”