Johnstable /dʒɑ́nstəbəl/ (male)

John is a simple classic, but many would argue that it lacks a certain syllabic sophistication. For years, Jonathan has been the the only viable option for elongation, leaving many parents (especially those who have no desire to see their child’s name shortened to the ‘H’-less ‘Jon’) wishing for an alternative. Johnstable fills this desperate need, and it does so with authority. From its flavour of solid nobility to its top-heavy rhythm, Johnstable is superior to Jonathan in almost every way. Since its arrival, experts have been all but unanimous in predicting that it will completely supplant its predecessor within only one generation.

“Don’t go to Johnstable for advice. His solution is always therapy.”