Bronando /bronǽndo/ (male)

Over the last few years, millions of self-proclaimed “bros” have begun simultaneously aging into parenthood. We in the industry knew this would cause a disturbance in the namescape, though we were admittedly unprepared for just how horrifying this disturbance would be. With names like Brosef, Brobro, Broman and Bro-Steve flooding the market, the entire industry is just a little bit dumber than it was before. Of the wave of bro-names that are washing over the nation at the moment, however, Bronando is demonstrably the most tasteful. The exotic Spanish feel goes a long way to flushing out the foul taste of bro. Do your child a favour and don’t go bro, but if you absolutely must, go with Bronando.

“Bronando wore a popped collar to his assault hearing.”