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D’Krunk /dəkrə́ŋk/ (female)

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Five-syllable names are generally considered far too unwieldy to make it onto the global charts, but this recent entry from the Hyper Futurist tradition has just proven to the naming community – and the world at large – that rules were meant to be broken. Having risen to 20th place on the Global Top 100 after only eighteen months on the market, Politrixia is now poised to move into the the to...

Pertheuth is the latest in the barrage of faux-lisp names that have been exploding out of the American midwest this last year. While this name’s critics consider it to be an asinine perversion of Perseus, many parents disagree, claiming that Pertheuth improves on the elegance of its mythological predecessor in the same way that pronouncing Barcelona as “Barthelona” sounds, to some Spanish speakers...

Based loosely on the biblical name, Dorcas, Porkas was commissioned by the swine industry as part of their ‘Pretty in Pork’ public-image campaign. The goal of this campaign was to endear pork producers to the general public, thereby making their fairly brutal business practices seem more palatable. As anyone with ears to hear knows, the name has caught on with a vengeance, flooding the name market...

Fans of the Dickens novel, Great Expectations, will no doubt gravitate toward this name, which is an artful combination of Pip and Magwitch, two of the book’s most beloved characters. The result is a name that is lively, colourful, and somehow appetizing. With a name like this, your child will surely grow up well-cultured and literate, regardless of how you raise them. And as if you need another r...

First impressions aren’t this name’s strong suit, often sounding like repetitive gibberish the first 50 to 100 times a listener hears it. Studies have shown, however, that once this one clicks for people — as it inevitably does with continued exposure — it clicks with an absolute vengeance. This scientifically proven fact (documentation can be found at NameScience.org) means that fans of the long...

As regular readers know, World’s Best Baby Names has never endorsed the name ‘Pistol’ for a boy, despite its recent rise in popularity. In fact, we’ve come out against the name on several occasions. It is tacky. It is uninspired. It is pedestrian and forgettable. Worse than that, though, it positively reeks of the sort of faux edginess that has been plaguing baby naming for the last few years. How...

Nonsensical combinations of English nouns tend to show poorly in the global name market, and many would argue the same should be true of Pandabags. Remarkably, it is not. In fact, Pandabags’ popularity has been growing at an accelerating rate since its 2001 release. At least part of this popularity is due to the name’s flawlessly unisex construction, but that alone can’t account for these numbers....

This name hangs in the heavens like a universal constant, swaying ever back and forth as the world spins helplessly below. Do you plan on shaping your daughter into a hyper-reliable clock of a person? If you answered ‘yes,’ this name will meet your needs without sacrificing any beauty to do so. On the other hand, those unwilling to commit to such an intense regime of mental conditioning may want t...

Howard has always suffered from a weakness of the knees. It is a painfully bland name that has been outdated for well over 50 years. What a surprise, then, that simply changing the first letter to a ‘P’ could transform it into one of 2015’s most dynamic male names. Perhaps it is the phonetic presence of the word ‘power’ that makes this name so special. Perhaps it is simply the allusion to the clas...

Gentle ripples on a pond should be the first thing to pop into your head when you hear this vibrant name from late 2013. Critics who insist it is more immediately evocative of nipples likely have a thing for nipples themselves (We’re looking at you, Melanin Parker of BabiesFirstandSecond.com). If, on the other hand, your mind isn’t stuck in the nipple-filled gutter, this name floats like a leaf in...

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"Pam is a family name and when I had our little girl, I thought I'd have to settle on Pamela until I heard Pamples. All the convenience of Pam, none of the ugliness of Pamela. It's perfect!"

 

- Darlene, Madison WI

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